I was prompted a few days ago to think about what really would constitute a living Hell for me. No forget all this fire and brimstone stuff of the (supposed) afterlife. We are quite good enough at creating Hell here in this life.
But on the basis that one man's meat is another man's poison, how much would we actually agree on what would constitute Hell here on Earth? Brave New World and 1984 would be a damn good start!
Well this is the start, at least, on what mine would look like.
There is no wine, beer or gin. The only liquids available would be Pernod, absinthe, pastis and ... errr ... water.
The only foods available are jellied eels, tripe, sweet potato, pumpkin and egg custard.
Everyone is perpetually rude, selfish and unable to speak English. (Nothing new there, then.)
All officials are little Hitler control freaks and over-officious bullies. And then there are the managers!
Basically nothing is allowed; everything is banned, so whatever you do you're breaking some law or another.
Cigarette smoke clings everywhere.
There are no antibiotics, analgesics or deodorants.
It is cold. So cold I have to wear clothes all the time — because there is no central heating and no sunshine. And all the clothes I have to wear are made of plastic, rubber or nylon.
There are no cats, no birds, no gardens, no trees and no seaside. The sky is never blue. Maggots abound.
I have to travel everywhere by underground or by bus.
All women look like low-class tarts and wear a thick plastic skin of make-up.
All men are shaven headed thugs or greasy oiks — which is about how they behave.
There are children everywhere, screaming. Their batteries cannot be removed and they never run out of charge. They all have lice.
There is no internet nor any cameras — except for CCTV everywhere.
All TV is an endless cycle of inane soap operas and game shows interspersed every 5 minutes with ever more inane adverts.
There are no books and the only music is Mozart.
I'm forced to be homosexual, religious, play golf and put in the army.
I'm sure there's more ... Aarrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!
Why is it much of this sounds so horribly familiar?