We have no tradition in our culture for showing respect to anything sexual. We don't promote erotic education. Our health care establishment barely has a clue about our sexual bodies. Our political system finds sex to be a fine whipping boy. The gossips and preachers are our typical sex advisers, and their tone is usually damning, rarely daring.
The puritans are suspicious of sex education because it leads to tolerance, and there's a world of sexual learning in everything from anatomy books to Leaves of Grass [by Walt Whitman] to Hot Legs magazine.
The right to free speech, when you get right down to it, is the right to make someone else uncomfortable, to outrage the respectable, and to question everything held dear. Who, after all, needs protection to say they like Mom and apple pie? It's the same with our legal rights to privacy [...] We have persecuted people (from socialists to separatists, gay liberationists to pot smokers) who made unpopular statements or did unusual things.
If you are drawn to a non-traditional, non-Western ideology [any ideology? – K], ask yourself where sexual liberation lies in its philosophy. Are masculine and feminine roles fluid and accommodating, or are they drawn to fit a predetermined role? Does your faith tell you that masturbation is selfish, that it wastes one's precious energy? Or that monogamy is the only mature relationship in the eyes of your God? Are you led to believe that your sexual satisfaction is something that only your faith can give you, or some¬thing that must be sacrificed to get closer to essential truths?
If any of these Rules of Living sound familiar, ask yourself why something that is supposed to be so very divine and far-reaching [...] would hand you [a] load of body-loathing, double-standard, sexually shaming intolerance.
What wouldn't I give for even one politician to get up and say, "One thing I've learned from this awful mess is that we must decriminalize sex between consenting adults"! Now that would take some honesty, not to mention balls.
There's a difference between secrecy – hiding significant information – and privacy, which is our right to maintain an existence that isn't constantly orbiting around our mate. Secrecy devastates relationships, but privacy enhances them, because it distinguishes us; it resists the urge to merge.
19 December 2010
Opening up Sexuality
A few weeks ago I speed read Susie Bright's Full Exposure: Opening Up to Your Sexual Creativity and Erotic Expression. While I found much of the book mundane here are a few snippets which struck me and/or helped crystallise my thinking.